I’ve made it a habit, for years, to ask a friend if they need or want something from the store, I can pick up on my way to their place. I do not really know anyone, but a few, that asks me if I want anything while they’re out, on their way over. Instead people come to my home and ask me what I have. If anything drives me nuts, it is getting taken advantage of by someone, when it is so easy to say, “NO.” and not care about their feelings as a result. For example, I have 2 beers in the fridge and my roommates’ friend stops over, who is well over legal drinking age, and he asks if i have an extra beer. I like how people use a word like, ‘extra’ when asking for a cigarette or beer. Like, ya this pack came with 21 cigarettes, or, yes, I bought a 6 pack because I always only drink 5 or 4 of them. This kid, bumming beers off me, makes more money than I do and it seems, his parents are loaded. So, why the heck doesn’t he bring a beer over, or a few, or me a six pack for the many he’s drank each time he stops by. I don’t hang out with them; a fratcion of the reason, the roommate owesme weeks of rent, saying he lost money or this and that, yet he has plenty of money to drive his dad’s work truck around and eat out and go to parties. I don’t hang out with them, so it is not like the kid wants to bond or something.
I’ve worked with people and have agreed on a dollar amount they’ll pay for my computer services. I do the work and when it comes time to pay the bill, I feel guilty or whatever, and charge them less. They sure as heck don’t say anything to make it right; apparently not having a problem, paying me pennies for a job well done, meanwhile they’ll go spend 0 at the casino in a heartbeat. I must note that the last person I can remember, when I said, ah, you can give me bucks, for about an hour and a half of work, getting his restaurants computers and credit card terminals back online. He gave me instead. He’s from Guatemala and a great. hard working person. It astonishes me, how so many people, given the chance, would take from someone else, if they could and get away with it.
A couple months ago, I was in a gas station I frequent a few times a week, before heading into work. I’ll buy a cup or coffee, one for me, one for the owner of the antique shop where I work. One morning, near the start of summer, I had in 4 twenties in my pocket. I put them on the counter, and moved one off the pile toward the cashier and left 3 twenties right in front of me. The cashier said something in regards to the weather and I turned, looked outside and made a comment, agreeing with her. I turned around and she gave me the change from my and I left. I got to work and noticed I was missing . I called the shop, the cashier said she saw something then, and asked the lady if I left money. She lied, said no, and left. The cashier got her license plate number. I remember the woman somewhat, specifically, she is one of those idiots, driving a big lumbering SUV, so she parks in the NO PARKING ZONE, I assume, partly because she cannot manipulate the truck so easily; this way she just pulls right up front, not that she might be trying to off or anything either. Anyway, the cashier new something was it, got the lic. plate # and called the police and they never responded, twice. Apparently the blatant theft of my money would be on camera, but they have some display that blocks the view of the counter. (?? seriously !!) I have the woman’s license plate number. Should I not post it online to warn others that she might steal from them? I’m not sure, I thought to find her information, get her telephone number, and call her to say I have her on video tape and if she gives me back then I’ll let it go. Makes me sad, it does. People are sooooo out for their own good. I don’t even have a car and this chick, with her bling bling land rover, takes my off the counter in front of me, which was within a foot of heart, as I turn to think, what a bright, wonderful day it is turning out to be.
It doesn’t end, my old roommate, rich kid. I caught him in my room on my web camera, while I was at work. One time my father picked me up at 9:30 in the morning and the x-roommate triggered the camera to record him, at 9:32, watching out my window, to make sure my dad and I were leaving. I was on month to month with no lease. I paid a security deposit. I gave him about 2 weeks notice, and he kept my sec. deposit, emailed me and told me he would get his dad to say I paid him no security deposit. Even after I moved out, the girl who moved in, he got pregnant, they got married and have a child no. I tried to shake his hand a few months ago to congradulate him, but he dissed me, saying I owe him 0 to get my stuff out of storage. A pine bench my father made me as a gift, my box spring, air conditioner, and some other things. How the F can this stuff really happen? Do I need to start kicking people in the pants as soon as they start me
Chosen Answer:
No. What you need to do is to start to learn how to set boundaries with people in the very beginning. Sometime in your life you didn’t learn how to properly set boundaries. I was the exact same way and for years and years I was an awful lot of what I felt as people’s “doormats”. I actually ended up in therapy because it started to really bother me. I started to little by little say “no” which was very hard for me to do. No to the soda from my fridge, or a ride to work or a simple thing. Then I stopped doing all the favors I did for others who NEVER did anything in return for me and never even cared about me. It was hard because I really thought that these people cared about me. It took baby steps into big steps and now I don’t let people trample on me anymore. I set boundaries and I keep them.
You don’t have to go to therapy to do it. Start small by saying no to the beer and cigs and no to the coffee in the morning and when you do a job for someone set a job and expect to get paid that amount. Learn to stick to it and you will feel better about yourself and the situation. Your anger will go away, you will become happier and your life will get better in general. It does not happen overnight but it can happen if you really want it to. Good luck!!
Peace & Love 
